Everybody Talks
by MissCuriousBird
Summary: Tsuna is a new psychotherapist at M.A.F.I.A Mental Institute, and with everything that goes on around there, what with the crazy inmates, violent and sexual encounters, and a dark secret lurking around about the institute's past, he sometimes wonders why he had agreed to work here in the first place. AU.


**Author's notes:** _So, here's a new story that's been plaguing me for weeks_._ I created this because I've wanted to write a dark, suspenseful, _serious_, horror story for a long time, but have never came up with a storyline for it - nor is it really my forte. I do comedy, dammit. Anyway, I'm also fascinated by mental disorders and I want to experiment with writing individual KHR characters suffering from them and how the protagonist in this story, Tsuna, will encounter and struggle with various problems in a mental institute. __I'll apologise in advance if this story doesn't seem dark or suspenseful or lacks any general sanity/comprehension._

_I hope to accomplish this goal of mine, and reviews and constructive criticism are welcomed._

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**Warnings:**

_This story will contain a lot of swearing, violent and possible sexual scenes, disturbing thoughts and actions, gore, and possible OOCness._

_**You have been warned.**  
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_**Welcome to the Madhouse**_

_The institute looks so dreary_, Tsuna thought, glancing up at the tall building, squinting as the sun appeared from just behind it.

It was seven in the morning, and the area was empty, save for a few doctors, nurses and guards who walked in and out of the building through the windy weather. Small puffs of breath escaped from Tsuna's lips as he pulled his thick coat tighter around his lean frame, his eyes peering up at the building again. It was painted a dull grey color, surrounded by mostly dead trees and very few plants – which is understandable since it was currently winter – and with the heavy fog enveloped around it, Tsuna couldn't help but think of a horror movie he had seen a few months back which, much to his chagrin, was set in a mental institute much like the one he was about to work in.

Shivering more so from the horrible thoughts lurking through his mind of murder and decrepit hallways with flickering lights and broken doors than at the cold itself, he crossed the front yard of the institute and over the threshold, the glass doors sliding shut quietly behind him. The strong smell of disinfectant invaded his nostrils almost immediately as soft classical music floated through the air. He let his eyes sweep through the reception area as he walked to the desk. The colors were just as dull as it was outside, he noted. The walls were painted a greyish blue while the murky green linoleum floor glared mockingly at him as the lights above reflected off of it, as if it were expecting him to slip across it any moment now.

Across the walls were framed photos and paintings of people who have been here. Some of them were tattered and slightly ripped, while others looked new and fresh, as if they had just been painted this year. One particular photo in a golden frame caught Tsuna's interest. It was a portrait of a man who looked strikingly similar to himself, except he was slightly older with golden hair and orange eyes. Underneath read, in cursive writing, '_Giotto Vongola, founder of M.A.F.I.A Mental Institute. Year unknown.'_

In the photo beside that one was of a group of men. Three of them also bore similar appearances to Tsuna's own friends, Gokudera Hayato, Yamamoto Takeshi and Sasagawa Ryohei. While Gokudera had silver hair and green eyes, his counterpart had red hair and red eyes, and a flame tattoo on the right side of his face. While Yamamoto had dark, messy hair, his counterpart had slightly lighter hair tucked neatly underneath a traditional japanese hat. And Ryohei had short, silver hair while his counterpart had black, slightly longer hair. Tsuna leaned in close to read the writing on the bottom. _'G., Ugetsu Asari, Knuckle, Alaude, Lampo, Daemon Spade. Friends of Giotto Vongola. Year unknown.'_

Tsuna felt the slightest bit curious as to how these people looked so similar to himself and his friends, but he shook the thought away and continued on through the reception area. He didn't want to be late to meet his friend Yamamoto. When he got to the front of the desk, a woman with dark brown hair sat behind the counter chewing bubblegum as she stared at her fingernails in boredom. She looked to be in her early twenties, and didn't seem to care much for being there, like she could be doing something much more productive with her life than responding to people who came to bother her.

Tsuna cleared his throat to get her attention.

Her half-lidded green eyes slowly moved from her manicured nails to stare up at him. "Yes, how may I help you sir?" she dragged the last word out longer than she should have and, though it irked Tsuna, he smiled politely at her.

"I'm the new psychotherapist, Sawada Tsunayoshi." He said.

The receptionist stared at him, looked him up and down for a moment, then a frown appeared on her red lips, as if she just decided she disliked him already. She let out a long sigh. Turning, she rummaged through her desk before pulling out a few pieces of paper, sliding it to him briskly over the countertop. "Right. Well, here's your schedule and a copy of important notes written by the other doctors. Read that and then head down to room 27 on the second floor." She said, not even bothering to look at him anymore as she waved him off. "The green sheet is the map."

He frowned at her as he took the sheets but nevertheless thanked her and turned away to walk up the closest flight of stairs, glancing every now and then at his map to ensure he was going the right direction. Once on the second floor, he peered up and down the wide corridor.

_Why did this place have to be so huge_, he thought with a sigh, deciding to just go down one end of the hall in his search for room 27.

As he made his way down the empty hallway, he briefly glanced at the plaques on the dark brown doors lined along the walls as he passed by. _15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20_, he was getting closer. He almost breathed a sigh of relief, thanking heaven that he wouldn't have to walk back the other way by himself. The hallway was cold and gave him chills and, although it looked nothing like what he imagined, he swore any moment now someone was going to come bursting through one of these many doors with a chainsaw in their hands, or some other form of weapon, with a maniac grin on their disfigured face.

He really needed to stop watching those horror movies.

They really didn't do him any good. It probably didn't help that a majority of them involved a mental asylum. Really now, was Reborn purposely trying to scare him out of his new job here?

As he neared room 27, its door suddenly opened and a tall, tanned man stepped out halfway, worry etched onto his face as he ran a hand through his black hair. He turned his head in one direction to look down the hallway before turning to Tsuna's direction, his warm brown eyes immediately widening upon seeing the brunette standing there with an amused smile on his face. A wide grin replaced his worried expression than as he pushed the door open further and waved a greeting to him.

"Tsuna! Glad to see that you made it!" he laughed.

Tsuna chuckled as the man closed the door and strode towards him. "It's good to see you too, Yamamoto."

Yamamoto came to a halt in front of him and he peered down at the briefcase in the shorter man's hand. "Did you want to put that away in your office?" he asked, pointing to the leather case.

Tsuna frowned at him. "My office?"

He nodded and indicated to room 27 with his thumb. "Didn't Linda tell you that this was where your office is?"

Frowning, Tsuna wondered briefly just who Linda was before remembering the rude woman earlier on at the desk. Tsuna inwardly scowled. It would have been nice of her to tell him that room 27 was his when they were still talking, as brief as the conversation was. Maybe this place should think of hiring a new receptionist, one that would at least fake some politeness instead of staring at her nails like an adolescent girl. Sighing, he just shook his head, running a hand through his brown locks tiredly.

Yamamoto laughed. "Well then, let's put your briefcase away and we can head down to the cafeteria for some breakfast."

After depositing the briefcase and locking the room, the two headed downstairs towards the cafeteria located in the west wing of the building.

Yamamoto took that time to talk about the institute and the other people working here, as well as places to avoid and the normal schedule taken throughout the day. Tsuna, listening to him half-attentively, looked his friend over. He hadn't seen him in almost three years. They both worked in separate locations during that time; him here in Italy and Tsuna back over in Japan. His face had matured considerably since then, but he still held those same warm brown eyes, welcoming personality and cheerful smile he was known for back home in Namimori.

The only minor difference was the small scar on his chin, and Tsuna wondered just where he had gotten it. Was it from an accident? A mugging? Or was it from a patient here?

Noticing his lingering stare, Yamamoto smiled at him. "Looking at the scar?" he pointed to the small flaw in his skin and Tsuna nodded sheepishly.

"I was curious as to where you got it from." Tsuna admitted. "Didn't mean to stare like that…"

His friend just laughed and shook his head. "It's fine, Tsuna! I got it from one of the patients here. He was throwing a violent fit and got me in the chin with a knife. Luckily, it wasn't a deep cut. After that incident and few other ones, they moved him to another institute."

Tsuna nodded at his explanation before turning his gaze to the front, his footsteps along with Yamamoto's echoing in the hallway as the two fell silent. He'd heard Yamamoto talk about a few patients here during their chats online, but he'd never mentioned anything like this. He mainly talked of the two patients he had along with how their other friend, Gokudera Hayato, was doing, since the man was known for his short temper and sharp tongue and Tsuna had been worried over whether or not he could actually hold a session with a patient without the need to threaten them with bodily harm.

Chuckling at imagining the silver-haired male trying to keep his patience in check, Tsuna's thoughts then wandered back to Yamamoto's own patients. He had said one of them was a woman while the other was a man, and the both of them were pleasant to be around on most occasions. He hardly spoke about their disorders or any problems concerning them so Tsuna just assumed his friend was progressing well in aiding them to recovery.

Then Tsuna remembered his old patients back at the Namimori Mental Institute. In his first year working there, Tsuna had seen patients wipe their feces on the walls of their room, screamed at the voices in their heads, attempt suicide on more than one occasion, rapid changes in behaviour, and so many more horrifying scenes that still shook him to his core and haunted him to this day. Nevertheless, despite society having given up on them, locking them away like prisoners, Tsuna believed they still had a chance in life and he was going to help them towards that goal for as long as he could to the best of his abilities.

He just hoped that the patient he gets here wouldn't feel the need to strike him with a knife.

"And here's the cafeteria!"

Snapping out of his thoughts, Tsuna blinked at his new surrounding. His brown eyes wandered briefly around the spacious room, inspecting it. All across the wall on one side of the room were large windows where the sunlight shone through; giving it a warm feel despite how low the temperature was inside. To the left was the food-serving counter and the rest of the room held rows of tables lined with benches on either side of them. The walls were a pale yellow color while the linoleum floor was checkered patterned, and the tables were polished wood while the seats were plastic.

"This room looks more welcoming than the reception area." Tsuna commented finally.

Yamamoto just laughed as he led the brunette to a table located next to a window and ushered him to take a seat before taking the spot to his left. "One of my patients will be dropping by soon because she has a session at eight," he said, almost excitedly, with a wide smile, "She's going to be escorted here by one of the head guards, Colonello, in case anything goes wrong. While we're waiting, you can order from the menu here." He handed him a plastic sheet then and Tsuna peered at the contents on it with scrutiny.

From his own experience, he knew a majority of the food served was mostly bland with only the tiniest bit of flavor in it. After a moment of careful consideration, he opted for the eggs and bacon. At least something as simple as that should have some flavor in it. Yamamoto chose just plain cereal as he had eaten a little earlier and wasn't feeling too hungry.

As they waited for their food, catching up on old times, they failed to notice the woman being escorted into the cafeteria by a blonde haired man.

Yamamoto glanced up when he heard soft laughter and nodded in greeting with a big smile. "Umi-chan! It's good to see you're doing well this morning!"

Turning his head, Tsuna blinked at the sight of a woman taking a seat across from him.

…Tied up in a straightjacket.

She cocked her head to the side, her long white hair falling over her shoulder as her bright blue eyes stared at him in what he could only assume was amusement, and gave him a lopsided grin.

"Name's Midori Umiko, in case Mr. Yamamoto over there hasn't told ya yet, but you can just call me Umi." She laughed, shifting in her seat so that one of her legs was tucked underneath her while the other tapped against the tiled flooring in an offbeat rhythm. She then arched a slim eyebrow and leant forward, nodding to the tanned man, "And his name is Yamamoto Takeshi. From the, uh, _blank_ stare you've got on your face, I can only assume you're high off something and have no clue where the hell you are or who you're with. Druggie much?"

Tsuna frowned. He really didn't look _that_ sleep deprived, did he? He certainly hoped not. He had spent hours the previous night unable to sleep properly and tried his best to look wide-awake when he came here.

Yamamoto laughed softly, running his fingers through his messy black hair, "Come on now, Umi-chan," he said, "It's not nice to antagonize people you just met."

"I'm not _antagonizing_ him," She gave a small huff, pouting at his choice of words as she stopped tapping her foot, "I'm just saying what I'm thinking. Is that a crime?"

"Depends on whether or not you're thinking of saying something offensive."

"Your mum is a whore and your dad was a prostitute."

"Hey now, don't get nasty," the man admonished, warm brown eyes flicking over to her grinning face to give her a mock look of hurt, to which she laughed at, before turning back to Tsuna who watched them with interest, "Sorry about this odd introduction. Umi-chan has extremely impulsive tendencies so we had to put her in a straight jacket for safety – "

"Which restricts my urge to scratch my back and throw you out the window – "

" – But I assure you that she's actually very friendly once you get to know her." Yamamoto finished smoothly, having ignored the woman's interruption.

A scoff came from her then, and a scowl appeared on her face in irritation at the fact that she had failed to throw him off with her comment, especially more so when he ignored her plight for the need to scratch her back. She said some words in Italian, shaking her head furiously as she did so, as if she were mad. Yamamoto, however, continued smiling and Tsuna started feeling the slightest bit uncomfortable at the table, as if he were caught up in the middle of an argument between a married couple. Finally, after a few minutes, Umi stopped speaking and sighed deeply.

"I'm bored, Mr. Yamamoto! Can we _hur_ry this along? I heard they finally bought new buckets of paint for us to use in art therapy, and I want a crack at them first before that punk Byakuran does." Then she paused, pursing her lips, before adding in, "And my back still itches. Oh, also, I've got that session to go to."

Yamamoto arched an eyebrow as his lips curled into an amused smile, "Well, how about this, Umi-chan. If you let this meeting go by smoothly, I'll save two buckets of your favorite color for you."

Her face perked up instantly and she sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes in a bored fashion though she still had a grin on her face. She started tapping her foot again in that same offbeat rhythm and Tsuna vaguely wondered if this was an unconscious habit of hers. "If you really must in_sist_, Mr. Yamamoto, than I'll try and be on my best, uh, _behavior_, despite the fact that I really want to ruffle that man's gravity defying hair there."

Tsuna was amazed she actually agreed to that offer. Who would willingly agree to go through a meeting just for some buckets of paint?

Laughing in that usual jovial and childish way of his, Yamamoto nodded to Tsuna. "Go ahead and introduce yourself."

The brunette swiftly let his eyes trail back to Umi who was grinning at him expectantly, waiting for him to speak before undoubtedly interrupting him just to add in her own comments like she had to his friend Yamamoto. Taking in a deep breath, and fixing his tie and smoothing out his fine-pressed suit jacket, he spoke.

"My name is Sawada Tsunayoshi – "

"Sawada Tsunayoshi," she repeated, her bright blue eyes staring at him with a genuine interest, though her tone of voice echoed with horrible intentions, "What a _nice_ name. Sa_wa_da Tsunayoshi, Sawada _Tsuna_yoshi, Sawada Tsu_na_yoshi," she continued to say his name like a mantra, each time emphasizing on different parts of the words as if she were trying to find a pleasant way of saying it to her satisfaction. A few times, she used different accents to say them, falling into a fit of laughter at her own absurdness before straightening herself and resuming her previous activity as if nothing had happened. Finally, with a smile, she nodded triumphantly. "I've just decided that I want to call you Mr. Tuna-pon!"

Tsuna blinked at her.

"Tuna-pon?" he echoed fluently in English, his voice still firm yet soft, though he didn't hide the tone of disbelief that had crept up through his vocal cords at the odd nickname.

"_Mr__._ Tuna-pon!" She corrected, before nodding quickly. When she spoke again, she spoke with an excited edge to her voice, "It's so much more easier to say. And besides, it'll be funny watching the docs and nurses stare dumbly at one another trying to figure out who I'm calling out to. 'Sides from Mr. Yamamoto, of course, since he's sitting right there!"

Tsuna smiled politely at her as she laughed, the feeling of uncomfortableness slowly spreading in his body like a warning. To calm himself down, Tsuna decided to list down facts that he knew about her, something like a mental note for future reference. From what he had seen so far, Tsuna's first impression was that she had Hypomania, as she was extremely talkative, very confident and assertive with herself, and, if it weren't for the straightjacket, very energetic from the way she repetitively taps her foot against the floor like she really wanted to get up out of her seat and move around. Her eyes, despite looking friendly, seemed to hold horrible, if not morbid, intentions for him whenever they glanced towards his direction and she seemed to hold an odd fascination with him like he was a new toy on the market.

But on the bright side, she hasn't caused him any bodily harm yet. He can only assume that meant that this meeting was going well.

As soon as he thought that though, his smile faltering just the slightest bit as he imagined what she _could_ do if she wasn't restrained in a straightjacket, Umi's laughter died abruptly and her face was suddenly mere centimeters away from his.

"That's not a nice look on you." She commented, narrowing her eyes.

Tsuna blinked back and frowned. _What look? _He was about to ask what she meant when she abruptly cracked her forehead against his, forcing his head to jerk back from the impact. Yamamoto was immediately at the aid of his friend, chastising the woman for what she had done before turning back to ask if Tsuna was okay.

"Oi! I told you not to do anything stupid, hey!" The guard was quick to pull her back, talking in Italian to her angrily, no doubt lecturing her on her actions. She replied back in Italian as well, frowning one moment before laughing the next.

Wincing, Tsuna gingerly placed a hand over his forehead as he stared in disbelief at Umi who merely peered back at him with a lopsided smile as she ignored the angry blonde man behind her. Assuring that he was perfectly fine to Yamamoto, Tsuna frowned deeply as he replayed what had just happened moments ago in his head. He was sure she almost gave him a mild concussion with the amount of force she had used. Hell, he wouldn't be surprised if she had cracked his skull. _Well, at least she didn't decide to break my nose_, Tsuna thought dryly. That would've been horrible for his first day.

A loud thump was heard then from Umi, who had hit her knee against the bottom of the table to gain both therapists' attention again.

"See? That's better! That fake smile of yours was really _annoying_ to look at!" she said, cocking her head to the side. "I hate people with fake smiles. I hate fake people in general. I mean really now! What's the point in giving a fake ex_press_ion like _that_?" she then proceeded to replicate Tsuna's previous smile back to the brunette, who shivered at how out of place it looked on her face, before she went back to her previous maniacal smile. "What's the point in being fake at all? If you're feeling down, you have to _look_ down and _act_ down! If you're feeling angry than you punch the crap out of someone! That pained look on your face is so much more pleasant to see!"

Yep. She was insane.

And he could not understand her logic there, he really couldn't.

"Umi-chan, you can't just assault someone because you don't like something that they do," Yamamoto chastised, "It's harmful to both them and yourself. You have to think these actions of yours through."

She snorted at him. "I _do_ think through my actions, Mr. Yamamoto! Just in a more fast-paced manner than normal people! But if it'll stop your lecturing, I'll apolo_gize_ to Mr. Tuna-pon here." Her blue eyes shifted to the still frowning brunette, and a smile etched itself onto her face as she saw how red his forehead had gone. "Sorry for almost breaking your skull there, sir!"

Tsuna almost rolled his eyes at her. That wasn't a very good apology. Probably the worst one he's ever heard in his entire life. But instead of rejecting the apology, he simply sighed. "Yes, well," he flinched as he poked his forehead, "It's very nice to meet you – "

"Hahaha! Nice to meet me he says!" Umi doubled over in her seat as her shoulders shook in laughter, "Are you joking? No one's ever 'nice to meet' round here! Don't ya know where ya at kid?"

He frowned at her. "Well, yes, of course I know where I am. I'm at M.A.F.I.A Mental Institute – "

"_Wrong_! That's the, uh, _nice_ way of putting it. You do know the _other_ terms for this place, right?"

He shook his head. She burst into another fit of laughter.

"You're in the loony bin, boy-o! The bughouse! The funny farm! The _crazy_ box! The place where they throw all the people who ruin society's falsified good image!" she hollered, laughing loudly, "They put us in here because they can't deal with us. They practically want to hide us in the dark as if we don't exist! They think they're doing this for our own _good_. _**HA**_**.**" Her shoulders shook as her head bowed down to accompany her dying laughter, "What a load of bullshit!" And then her head snapped upwards and she stared at him again, giving him a grin that looked far too menacing and twisted, like she was mocking him. "And Jesus on a cracker, you're _here_ and you don't even know _that_!" she shook her head rapidly, as if this was a bad joke, and asked abruptly, "So, ya a loony or a doc?"

Put off by her rapid change in behavior, Tsuna replied warily, "I'm a psychotherapist – "

"_Psycho_therapist," she repeated. Tsuna took a mental note of how often she repeated his words, as well as the look of sheer lunacy on her face when she put emphasis on the word 'Psycho'. She looked absolutely mad as her words rushed through her mouth. "So you're one of _those_ guys. Uh, well then, who ya got first on your list of _craz_ies?"

"Oh," Tsuna reached into his jacket and pulled out the folded pieces of paper that Linda had given him, and skimmed through the pages before finding his schedule. "Someone named Belphegor…?"

Umi scrunched her nose up at the name and leant back in her chair to stare up at the ceiling for a moment before casting her gaze to the door than back to the brunette. The look she was sending him made Tsuna's skin tingle. It was like she was debating on whether or not she should be happy for him. It reminded him of his mother when he had told her he was going to move to Italy for his new job. She looked heartbroken, crying over the news, but nevertheless supported his decision, making him promise to write to her everyday on how he was going.

Shaking the thought of his crying mother's face, Tsuna asked, "I take it that you don't like this man Belphegor?"

Widening her eyes, as if she just realized his presence, Umi shook her head. "What? Oh no, no, no, no. I like Bel. He's one of the few entertaining guys round here that puts up with my impulses. Granted though, I put up with his psycho tendencies, so it's fair game. That, and he makes everything here less _bor_ing."

Tsuna arched an eyebrow; "Psycho tendencies?" he paused to look at Yamamoto who was frowning, almost disapprovingly, at the woman, as if she had said something she shouldn't have. After careful consideration on how to word his next question, Tsuna returned his gaze to Umi. "Are they…_extreme_ tendencies?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. Does killing your parents and twin brother count?"

And then it was Tsuna's turn to stare wide-eyed at her. "Yes. Of course that counts. Why wouldn't it?"

"Ooh." She murmured some words inaudible to Tsuna's ears and shrugged her shoulders again as she tongued the corners of her lips, "Well, uh, there are a few people here who've committed _murder_ on more than one occasion. I just thought it wouldn't count as anything special. But hey!" she sat up straight and her eyes brightened, "Bel's a pretty fun guy to talk to, when he's not, ya know, talking about _slic_ing you open with his knives and _dump_ing your body into the river." She laughed and Tsuna's stomach did a flip inside him as he scrunched his eyebrows and stared at her. She spoke so cheerily about _murder_ as if it was a fun, childish game, and it unnerved the brunette greatly.

Umi stopped laughing then and cocked her head to the side as she pursed her lips. "Oh. And since we're getting along so _fabulously_, Mr. Tuna-pon, I'll give you some tips for your session with Bel. Tip one, he thinks he's a prince and hates it when people disagree so _don't_ correct him on it," she paused to roll her eyes before continuing again, "Tip two, he likes sharp and pointy things because he can use them as a weapon, so it'd be good to keep your pens, pencils, scissors and stuff out of his sight. Speaking of sight, you can't see his eyes. He hides them behind his hair like some goddamn hippie. And for the final tip, Bel is a complete dick-bag who could, and would, rape you in your sleep if he takes a real fancy to you."

Tsuna stared blankly at her. "Please tell me he hasn't actually raped someone before."

"Not yet but boy does he have one active imagination!" She laughed, shaking her head, "You should hear the things he tells me just to gross me out - "

Suddenly, she stopped talking and frowned. She craned her neck to the side to look towards a commotion happening further at the back of the room. Tsuna and Yamamoto followed her gaze towards a man with long silver hair screaming and thrashing at the two guards escorting him to where Tsuna presumed he was to have his session with his therapist.

"Ah, it's Squalo-san," Yamamoto nodded, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table in front of him, lacing his fingers together. Tsuna glanced at him curiously and the black-haired male explained to him. "Squalo-san is another one of the patients who've been here for a long while, like Umi-chan. He's really violent and aggressive, so he's often stuck with guards." He said as Tsuna nodded slowly in understanding, glancing at the man again who was giving a feral snarl to one of the guards.

"Oi, shark hippie," Umi's voice called out, to the surprise of Tsuna, "You mind keeping your voice low? You can't hear sharks in the ocean or on land, so we don't need to hear you hollering like a fucking moron."

"VOI! What the fuck did you just say bitch? Come over here and say that to my face!" he growled, shoving at a guard to move from his face as he glared. His lips curled up in a sneer upon seeing Yamamoto and he spat out more vulgarities while the tanned man merely smiled and waved back at him casually like this was a daily occurrence.

"I would gladly do that, except why the hell should I listen to _you_?" Umi scoffed, rolling her eyes like she thought his words were completely ridiculous, "And 'sides, I'm having a chat with the new psychotherapist here. Ya know, welcoming him to the loony bin and such."

At that, Squalo stopped thrashing and stared, finally taking notice of the brunette sitting across from Umi. Tsuna stared back calmly, mentally taking note of the man's pale complexion, and his long silver hair and steel-grey eyes which seemed to be scanning him up and down as if he were gouging out Tsuna's capabilities. What really held the brunet's attention though was the man's amputated left hand, which had been replaced with a mechanical one. He would've felt sorry had it not been for Squalo's livid eyes and threatening body language. It was like he was on a battlefield, preparing himself to strike first before the enemy could.

After a brief period of silence, Squalo cocked an eyebrow and scoffed. "That scrawny little shit? _He's_ the new psychotherapist everyone's been talking about? Voi, they've really got low standards in this shit hole if they're accepting trash like him."

"Of course." Umi nodded vigorously with her eyes flickering between the two, a chirp in her voice, "I mean, why else would they have let _you_ in here?"

And Squalo was growling again in a manner much like a wild animal's, thrashing and snapping at the guards pulling him back by his arms. "You little bitch! I'll fucking kill you!"

"Haha, keep up the threatening attitude, Sharkie! You'll just end up going to solitary confinement! Hahaha!"

Squalo's eyes went livid then, and he shot his elbow into one of the guards' jaw, sending him toppling to the ground. Manoeuvring past the other guard and Colonello, he was suddenly standing right in front of Umi, who acted as if she were a little girl watching her favorite Disney movie. Squalo's fist cracked into the side of her face and before she could fall over from the impact, he yanked her up by the collar of her straight jacket, growling threats and vulgarities at her in both Japanese and Italian. Umi merely laughed, her cheek already a dark, bruising red, before she began spluttering nonsensical words. The collar of her straightjacket was lifted higher which effectively began to choke her. Despite this, she still managed to laugh in between her gargled words.

Yamamoto, Colonello and the other guard quickly pulled Squalo away, ripping his hands off her, and Umi fell to the floor in a crumpled heap. She took deep breathes and laughed all at the same time, twisting her body so that she was now laying on her side to help her breathe better.

"Ooh! Mr. Sharkie got real snarky real quick, now didn't he?" she said giggling hysterically as Colonello pulled her back onto her feet. "And I hadn't even said anything _hurt_ful! Tsk, tsk, such a temper you've got, Sharkie!"

"VOI! Bitch! I'll fucking murder you in your sleep!"

"Are you okay, Umi?" Tsuna asked, taking a stand. Umi quickly ushered him to sit back down with an annoyed expression on her face.

"I'm fine! This happens every week!" she huffed, scowling greatly when Yamamoto touched her face. He was checking her cheek. Umi shook her head and moved away from him before turning her attention back to Squalo, who was glaring at her. "It's something Sharkie and I do. I taunt him and he tries to beat me up. It passes time. And besides that," her eyes lit up in glee and if her hands hadn't been restrained, Tsuna was sure Umi would have been clapping like an excited child, "It gives me perfect reason to crack his fucking head open as revenge!"

"Fuck you!" said Squalo, "You better watch your fucking back, shrimp!"

"HEY! I'M NOT THAT SHORT!"

"Umi, let me see your cheek." Yamamoto said sternly, gripping her chin between his fingers. "I need to see how bad it is."

Umi's eyes widened and she shook her head again, but more frantically then before. She used her foot to press into his stomach so that she could push him away. "No! I'm perfectly fine! I can't even feel the pain! Now quit touching my face, you rapist!"

"I'm trying to help you - "

"I don't need your pity help!"

"It's not _pity_. I'm concerned about you - "

"Liar! Get your hands off of me!"

"**_Umi_**."

She immediately stopped and stared back at him with a frown, as if she was unsure of how to react at the sudden change in tone. Tsuna was equally unsure of how to react, as he's only ever seen his friend like this on a few, rare occasions. It still scares him when he sees Yamamoto like this.

"I need to see your cheek to know how bad it is and to take the proper actions for it." Yamamoto said, "I'm doing this out of concern, not pity. It's my job to take care of the patients here. Now will you please let me check your cheek?"

Umi scowled at him. Tsuna could tell she didn't know how to reply to his words. Maybe because she's never experienced someone so caring before in her life, or perhaps she grew up in a violent environment where wounds and injuries were the normal, where she's had to fight and learn to take care of herself. Either way, even Tsuna felt concern for her, even though he just met her, and he would have done the same thing Yamamoto was doing right now.

"_Fine_." she finally said. She looked away angrily as Yamamoto smiled in relief at her reluctant agreement. He inspected the cheek quickly, touching it softly with his fingers to see if it was painful for Umi. At that, she hissed and jerked herself away from his hands.

"Jesus fucking Christ, that fucking hurts!" she cried out, shaking her head.

Tsuna frowned. "I thought you said you couldn't even feel the pain."

Umi snapped her attention to Tsuna. "Of course I fucking can! I just got punched in the face by a hippie hermaphrodite!"

"Who the fuck are you calling a hermaphrodite, you little shit?" Squalo roared from where he stood.

Twisting the top part of her body to face him, Umi angrily replied back, "You, of course! My god, are you losing your hearing aid as well, you old fart?"

"Her cheek is cut and swelling up. Take her to the infirmary first before going to her session." Yamamoto told Colonello as the two patients continued yelling and screaming at each other from across the room. Tsuna couldn't help but imagine Squalo and Umi as cats and dogs with the way they were acting.

"Alright, cut it out! Both of you!" One of the guards snapped irritably from beside Squalo, sending a warning glance to the laughing female as he pulled the thrashing Squalo further back towards the doorway where more guards had come in to help.

"Speaking of cut, who cut one here? It reeks of spoilt eggs, and I'm not talking about the food they serve in the cafeteria." Umi said, shaking her head with a laugh as Colonello grabbed her arm and pulled her up onto her feet. Her mood had abruptly changed again. It was like her moods just instantly washed away, only to be replaced with another in the blink of an eye. Tsuna was sure she didn't even know she had these abrupt changes of behaviour.

Umi glanced at the tall man beside her and pursed her lips, "Time for my session al_read_y, Cornetto? Aw, couldn't Mr. Gokudera have put it off for another five minutes?"

"I'm taking you there early," the guard said gruffly, his blue eyes narrowing. "You're causing trouble again even though I warned you not to. And my name's Colonello, hey."

Umi gave a snort. "Am not! That hippie started it! And don't lie! Your name's Cornetto!"

"VOI! Don't you dare put the blame on me, you little fucking shit!"

"Well who else am I gonna put the blame on?" Umi asked before glancing at Tsuna. The brunette merely stared back at her with a frown, and her lips curved into a wicked smile "Mr. Tuna-pon here? Hahaha! Geez Squalo! Get your head out of your ass!"

"Bitch!"

"Bastard!"

"Why don't you go fuck that prince you love so much?" he snapped, shoving at the guards again to let go of him.

"Why don't _you _go fuck Xanxus first!" she shot back, sticking her tongue out at him like a spoilt child as he sneered back at her.

"Alright, enough! I'll throw you into interrogation with Lal if you keep this up!" Colonello growled. Umi instantly stopped and shook her head quickly at the threat. Tsuna swore he saw her face pale and her eyes widen in fear.

"I'll stop! I'll stop! I don't want to go to interrogation with Lal! That woman can rape you with her eyes dammit!"

"Don't be stupid." Colonello scoffed at her ridiculous claim and stared at her pointedly. "Lal could _kill_ you with her eyes, hey."

Umi rolled her eyes at him, "That makes her sound _so_ much sweeter," she sighed then before glancing at Yamamoto. "By the way, thanks a lot for sending me to Mr. Gokudera for my session today. He's gonna have a real blast with me."

Yamamoto, in turn, shrugged his shoulders with a laugh. "Sorry Umi-chan. I'm showing Tsuna around the institute today so I can't do our session."

Shaking her head, she just gave a sardonic smile. "No worries. I'm sure I'll have a productive session with Mr. Gokudera. Everyone knows he just absolutely _adores_ my company." She said before Colonello started tugging her towards the exit almost impatiently. She peered back over her shoulder at Tsuna and her lips pulled up into a dark grin.

"Have a lovely time with Bel, by the way. If you survive him and his _knives_, you might just live long in this hellhole with the other patients," she sung from over her shoulder as Colonello led her out of the room, keeping her clear from Squalo's range.

When she disappeared from view, Tsuna let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Her parting words lingered over him like an echo. What did she mean by 'survive'? The patients really weren't _that_ violent or hostile, were they? Umi seemed welcoming – to a certain degree – and she was a patient here, but then again, he only talked to her for less than an hour. Not enough time to really get to know someone. And she _had_ slammed her forehead against his. It still throbbed painfully, and Tsuna groaned inwardly, just knowing that he was going to have a headache for the rest of the day.

Almost as if he had read his mind, Yamamoto spoke up. "I'm really sorry for Umi's behavior. Normally she's more quiet and tired in the mornings, since she can't sleep properly at night." He paused and frowned then, "I knew she was impulsive, but I didn't think she would actually slam her forehead against yours. She's never done that to new people. Sorry about that too, Tsuna – "

Holding a hand up to motion for his friend to stop talking, Tsuna shook his head with a smile. "It's fine Yamamoto. It doesn't feel that painful. A little ice and some painkillers will fix it right up."

Nodding his head slowly, almost reluctant to drop his apology, Yamamoto just sighed as their food was brought and placed in front of them. "I'll treat you to lunch later then, since you won't accept a verbal apology."

Tsuna frowned. "But – "

"No buts. I feel bad, so I'll treat you to whatever lunch you want. We'll go to town and you can look around for a café or something." The tanned man smiled widely then, "And Gokudera can join us! He hasn't relaxed in a long while, and he's been anxious to see you again!" he laughed and Tsuna chuckled along with him before they both went to take their first bite of their food.

Tsuna then promptly spat his egg out and stared in horror at his plate.

"Why are the eggs and bacon _bubbling_ and _purple_?"

Yamamoto just laughed.


End file.
